The Phoenix

Hi

First ,let me introduce myself. .I'm ........well,The Phoenix. Though, I don't possess any qualities that a Phoenix supposed to have.......not yet,that's what I would love to call myself.

To tell tell truth, I don't even know if in reality this bird exists or not.........What do you think?...........

Still... I love that concept...Just look at this image ...Isn't it wonderful??....the way it arises out of the fire...so delicate..and..confident.

The Phoenix has long been presented as a symbol of rebirth and renewal.It is supposed to be a mythical bird with a fire spirit...It never dies...near the end of its life cycle, the bird burns fiercely and reduced to ashes from which a new,young Phoenix arises.....reborn anew to live again......

Impressive...Isn't it?.

Well.....at the present state of my life,  I need a renewal too....

Oh yes...I went through the worst period of my life...with lots of pain,sufferings,frustrations..and related blah blah blah.........

It's not like I'm the poorest living being in the world who had to suffer a lot.......I know that so many people are out there...who are still going through a lot more than what I've suffered......

But for me,it was a big deal....Things didn't turn out just like the way I've planned.......I had to quit my dream job...and that pain was killing me that I would've been prefer death than to suffer it.....

You know,being a nobody's my worst nightmare...and...well, I hate to admit it...but at the present state, I'm a nobody......It's against my nature,guys....I'm not the the kind of girl who'll accept defeat easily....I have complete confidence in myself and know that I shall pass through this also.........I hate losing.

...Well....as far as I'm concerned,I have three choices before me.....

First and foremost I can let my self hide in my own shell from the dull life that I'm having now and never quite achieve the full strength of my inner self....and it seems to be the easiest way for me as there're so many wings to protect me.

Secondly,I can act like a victim of some unexpected circumstances and keep blaming my fate...and..well..God.

And last but not at all the least, I can act like a Phoenix,which arises out of the ashes........

As you rightly guessed,..I wanna lean towards The Phoenix.......In fact,I wanna be the Phoenix.

That's why I chose the name...You get it??........

I'm in search of a new beginning....

For that I have to burn my lower nature to allow the most splendid parts of my character to live and grow....of course, like a Phoenix.

As an after effect of all those bad experiences....I'm kind of getting used to show a dull indifference to life...but this aloofness is just the surface of my nature....below the surface of my indifferent exterior, there's a scorching passionate fire...I know it...and it seems like.. others sense it too....

I desperately hope that by writing about myself and by sharing my thoughts...I' can find that fire somewhere inside me...and with that flame I'll reduce my lower self into ashes....from which a new ME will arise.